Monday, February 8, 2010
Since this upcoming weekend is Valentines Day, I thought I should start at the top of the list with one of the seemingly easiest steps: Love.
But love is so much more complicated than we all want to acknowledge. I feel like I am in pretty good shape when it comes to expressing love, but not all people have it so easy. When I was growing up my parents had no trouble saying I love you, and likewise I have no trouble with it today. A lot of people have very confining views of what the word love really means; some people only like to use it in a romantic sense, but I have no objection to the more arbitrary use of it as a word to express things that make one really really happy (as in, I love cupcakes).
And one thing I think a lot of people forget is that it is okay to tell friends that you love them. My best girlie friend, whom I have known since 1st grade, is someone who has been like a sister to me and we end every e-mail and phone conversation with an I love you, and we really mean it. Likewise, I have a co-worker who is one of the nicest guys around but we have only known each other about a year, and when he leaves work he always tells us he loves us and we love him right back.
I think today a lot of people are afraid of the word, like it is some kind of binding contract. But love comes and goes, and has so many different levels. I want to spend this week pondering love, and what it means to me, and how to give more of it and hopefully gain more as well. One thing I know I have to do that I am kind of dreading is write a letter to the parents of my ex-boyfriend. He passed away a couple months ago, and though we had gone out for more than four years, I stopped speaking to him when we broke up.
It was messy and emotional, and I have not heard much from his family since. But at one point they were like my family too, and I love them all very much. I cannot remember actually telling them this, and that makes me sad. So writing a letter and sending some of the old pictures of their late son is on the top of my to-do list. I also want to write some letters I know I will enjoy this week, something cute to my old friends and family just to let them know I love them.
Well, that connects to a couple other things on the list, namely Express and Mail. One of those may be good for next week, unless I can find time to get the garden going, then I will get into that. But as far as the rest of this week goes, I need to think about how to spread more love, and make people happier... More to come.
Where I stand this week:
Carbon footprint: 8.1 or... If everyone lived like me it would take 3.8 Earths to provide enough resources.
Weight: 185 Lbs.
Mood: Slightly annoyed, but happy.
Money (approx.): $1,300.00 in checking, $1,600.00 in savings, $3,000.00 in high-interest credit card debt, $7,000.00 in collection-agent-status debt, and $7,000.00 in student debt.