Sunday, February 14, 2010

Loving you...

It's true. I learned this a long, long time ago, and I try to remember it every day. But I find there are days when I only really like who I am, but not quite love. And that just plain sucks. There is no reason why I or anyone else should not love the people we are every second of every day. No two of us are alike, we all have unique thoughts, talents, and inner and outer beauty. Today, even though I feel like crap and I am lonely, I still love who I am. (Edit: I am feeling better and loved today.)

Everyone has things about themselves that they would like to change, the underlying cause of these changes, in my mind, is an effort to feel better about who we are; to love ourselves more. Some people battle with weight, some with fears, some with bad habits, and that is a good thing, I think. If we were always perfectly content with who we are then we would miss out on a lot of golden opportunities to learn and grow as people.

Some things I am committed to doing in order to love the person I am more include losing weight (not too much, just enough), finishing what I start, and helping strangers more often (good deeds in general). I get an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment and the need to pat myself on the back whenever I help a stranger in need. I get a natural high every time I stop to help someone push a stalled car to a safe place. Recently, I have been thinking about how to help out the homeless people I see on my way to work every day.

I have mixed feelings about giving money to people on the street because it seems like you could be helping or you could just be furnishing their drug addiction or whatnot. So as a rule I never give money to someone who is smoking a cigarette, because I know right where that money will go. All in all I do not have a ton of money myself, but I still feel the need to help out my fellow man, so here is what I have come up with: instead of giving them my spare change, I am going to buy fruit with it and offer it to them. Sure, a dollar can get you a crappy cheeseburger, or you can buy like 4-5 bananas or apples or oranges with the same money. And if I do not happen to run into someone on my way to work, then I have a healthy breakfast for myself all the same.

What kinds of things do you want to do to show love more often? Any ideas?

Good deeds this week:
* On Tuesday I got on the most crowded bus ever, which was driven by a very snarky man who made me laugh when we got to talking about how rude everyone always is on the bus. When I got off at my stop I told him You have a hard job but you do it really well, thanks for driving me to work today.
* I let my boyfriend do his own thing this week without complaining one bit. I do not want to end up being some nagging housewife.
* I listened to a wonderful violinist in the subway station and gave her all the change I had. Seemed like no one else had paid attention to her all day.

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